FOMO: Fear of missing out on the digital age

Psychologist Kira Guerra Franco and psychotherapist Iván Baliña Rodríguez-Valcarce explain in this article how FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), driven by social media use, creates a phenomenon of social anxiety affecting millions of people who seek to stay continuously connected to avoid missing out on anything in the digital age.

Have you ever felt anxious after seeing pictures of a party you didn’t attend, wishing you had been there? Perhaps you wondered if you were missing out on the best night of your life while scrolling through Instagram. If this sounds familiar, you’ve likely experienced FOMO.

Introduction

In the digital era, social media has profoundly transformed the way we interact, communicate, and perceive the world (Díaz & Extremera, 2020). The proliferation of Information and Communication Technologies (ICT), especially through digital platforms, has amplified certain psychological phenomena, with Fear of Missing Out (FOMO), or the fear of missing out, being one of the most prominent.

This term, coined by Dan Herman and popularized by Przybylski et al. (2013), describes the anxiety that arises from feeling like others are enjoying experiences from which one is absent (Torres Serrano, 2020; Gupta & Sharma, 2021), showing a desire to stay constantly connected with what others are doing (Przybylski et al., 2013).

It can manifest as an episodic feeling that occurs in the middle of a conversation, as a long-term disposition, or as a mental state leading the individual to feel a deeper sense of social inferiority, loneliness, or intense anger (Gupta & Sharma, 2021). Although FOMO is not exclusive to social media, the proliferation of these platforms has exacerbated this age-old fear.

The impact of this phenomenon is not limited to the individuals experiencing it; it also affects society as a whole. Social media has created a new dynamic of interaction where exposure to others’ lives, carefully curated and presented, often creates distorted expectations of what it means to live a fulfilling life (Braña Sánchez & Moral Jiménez, 2023).

Algorithm Functionality

Digital platforms are not neutral; they are designed to maximize user interaction time, using techniques such as intermittent positive reinforcement, like notifications and social validation, to keep users engaged. This creates a hard-to-break cycle, especially for adolescents, who are more vulnerable to instant gratification (Wu et al., 2013).

The algorithms employed are driven by commercial interests. Robert Cialdini, in the latest edition of Influence (2021), explains how these algorithms use principles of persuasion, such as intermittent reinforcement and reciprocity.

Repeated exposure to positive stimuli, like “likes” or comments, reinforces constant usage behavior, which, from a neuropsychological perspective, affects the brain areas responsible for self-regulation and self-control, such as the prefrontal cortex (Turel et al., 2014).

This reliance on algorithms impacts not only individuals but also society at large. The personalization of content can create informational bubbles and polarization (Todorovich, 2021), affecting social cohesion and contributing to the fragmentation of communities. Additionally, this manipulation dynamic reinforces superficial behaviors and social comparison, which can negatively affect users’ self-esteem, particularly young people (Vogel et al., 2014).

FOMO in Adolescence

Although this phenomenon can affect people of all ages, FOMO’s impact is particularly relevant for young people, who are going through a critical period of brain and emotional development (Błachnio & Przepiorka, 2018). During this stage, the brain is especially vulnerable to external influences due to its high plasticity.

In their quest to understand themselves and establish their identity, teenagers use these platforms as a tool to explore and experiment with various forms of self-expression and social connection. FOMO, in this context, acts as a catalyst for social media use, where the need to find this digital identity leads to massive exposure to activities and experiences. Missing out, therefore, could imply a sense of exclusion that undermines self-esteem. Moreover, the social pressure and online validation can affect behavior, leading individuals to seek activities constantly.

Brain Areas Involved

Since the FOMO phenomenon is relatively new, there are no conclusive studies yet on all the brain areas and neuropsychological processes involved. However, research has shown that brain areas such as the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), the insula, and the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (DLPFC) are activated during experiences of social exclusion (Eisenberger et al., 2003, 2007; Burklund, Eisenberger, & Lieberman, 2007; DeWall et al., 2010; Kross et al., 2007, 2011; Chester, DeWall, & Pond, 2016).

The activation of the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), for instance, has been linked to the emotional pain that arises from feeling excluded or not participating in social events (Eisenberger et al., 2003). This brain area is activated both in situations of social exclusion and in scenarios of physical pain, reflecting the intensity of the distress FOMO can generate. It is also involved in emotional processing and conflict evaluation. The insula, meanwhile, plays a crucial role in interoception, or the perception of internal bodily sensations, and its activation in social exclusion scenarios amplifies negative emotional responses (Eisenberger et al., 2007).

From a broader perspective, FOMO affects not only emotional regulation but also cognitive processing. The information overload and constant need to check what’s happening around us, especially in the digital realm, fragments attention and hinders deep reflection (Shanmugasundaram & Tamilarasu, 2023), leading to information consumed quickly and forgotten just as fast.

It is also unclear which reward pathways are involved in its reinforcing effects. It is widely accepted that dopaminergic pathways, particularly the mesolimbic systems, are activated with satisfying social connections (Gupta & Sharma, 2021; Todorovich, 2021). Likewise, reward prediction error encoding and variable reward patterns maintain these behaviors.

Social and Emotional Consequences of FOMO

FOMO affects the emotional and social well-being of individuals. Some studies support that the constant pressure to stay informed about others’ activities, combined with the need for social validation, can lead to noticeable levels of stress, anxiety, and mental exhaustion (Alkis, Kadirhan, & Sat, 2017; Gupta & Sharma, 2021; Tanhan et al., 2022).

People who fear missing out on interactions with their peers or rewarding social events may show dysregulation in their use of social media, staying constantly connected to relieve the anxiety caused by possible exclusion (Fioravanti et al., 2021; Ferreira et al., 2021).

Sociologist Zygmunt Bauman in his work Liquid Generation (2000) argues that social relationships in modernity have become fragile, which is evident in the dynamics of social networks. Online connections often go hand-in-hand with superficiality, creating a disconnect between the idealized life presented on digital platforms and the complex human reality. This dissonance between digital life and tangible life generates frustration and pain, as unrealistic expectations of what it means to be successful or loved do not align with physical experiences, negatively affecting individuals’ self-esteem and emotional well-being (Chou & Edge, 2012).

However, it should be noted that, so far, there is no consensus in the scientific literature regarding the association between the internet, FOMO, and symptoms of depression and/or anxiety (Akbari et al., 2021).

Strategies to Manage FOMO

Various strategies have been proposed to manage FOMO and its effects.

FOMO-R Method

The FOMO-R method (Alutaybi et al., 2020) is an approach based on self-assessment and planning concrete actions to increase control over social media use. This method includes five stages: preparation, planning, action, evaluation, and review. These phases allow individuals to identify their usage patterns, develop strategies to manage FOMO, and evaluate the effectiveness of those strategies.

1. Preparation Stage

This stage aims to raise awareness about FOMO, helping individuals understand the different types they may experience. Using a self-assessment booklet, specific FOMO symptoms are diagnosed, preparing individuals for the next stage.

2. Planning Stage

The goal here is for individuals to plan how to manage their FOMO by providing specific countermeasures. These include techniques and strategies to prevent FOMO.

3. Action Stage

In this phase, individuals implement and practice the countermeasures selected during the planning stage. They are encouraged to dedicate a specific time, usually a week, to test these techniques and prevent relapse.

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4. Evaluation Stage

Individuals evaluate the effectiveness of the countermeasures used. If they find at least one countermeasure useful for each type of FOMO, they proceed to the review stage. If not, they identify challenges and select new countermeasures or return to previous stages to adjust their approach.

5. Review Stage

Individuals review the actions taken in previous stages to determine if they have successfully managed their FOMO. If successful, the process ends, or they return to preparation to identify other possible types. If they do not manage their FOMO, they review and adjust their approach until they find an effective solution. Additionally, they are provided with additional support to encourage individual empowerment.

FOMO-R provides a structured framework to help individuals reduce their anxiety around FOMO, promoting healthier emotional regulation. This approach can be especially useful for teenagers.

Furthermore, integrating prevention and self-care techniques, such as mindfulness (Chan et al., 2022), allows individuals to reconnect with the present and distance themselves from the need for validation.

Final Reflection

FOMO and excessive social media use are characteristic phenomena of the hyperconnectivity era, with profound implications for emotional and social well-being. While social media has greatly facilitated communication and access to information, it has also introduced new challenges, especially in terms of mental health (Soriano-Sánchez, 2022).

As individuals and as a society, it is essential to reflect on our relationship with the digital world and promote healthy and conscious use of these technologies. This includes encouraging conscious disconnection, developing self-care and prevention strategies, and promoting responsible digital education that allows people, especially young people, to reconnect with the world beyond the screen (Martínez, 2021).

Rather than demonizing social media, we should focus on leveraging its benefits while mitigating its potential negative effects. The call for collective reflection is urgent; it’s not about black or white. Promoting mindful practices and offering healthy alternatives within the use of technology are key steps to ensure that the digital world enriches, rather than eclipses, the fundamental pillars of our society: human relationships, personal development, and connection with the present.

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